My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
