I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
