help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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