no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
