just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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