dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
