girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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