seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
