I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
