if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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