Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
