I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
