I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
