Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
