So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
