what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
