That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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