oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
