Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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