i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
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A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
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Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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