Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
