break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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