mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i barfeds in our rink
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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