I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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