I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
