New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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