I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize