She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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