you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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