They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Randomize
