Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
