Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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