I cut my penus on the lid.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
