Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
