he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
