I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
