Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
