I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize