awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
