so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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