We won't sleep together?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
