I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
