I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
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I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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