now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
