Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
