It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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