So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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