Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
