No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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