Sponge bath it is.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
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So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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