We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
