And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize