So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
