So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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