im drinking this country out of the recession.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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