I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
