He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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