is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
