he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
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Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
God, I missed his penis.
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