She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
