It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
