Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
