I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
