Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
